Going Back to History

This year I am going back in time where I first a small kid . It makes me happy and sad letting them go once and for all . I was a child that had my friends stick by me what matter what . I do miss the old day’s . Were I was with my friends  mucking around being kids . And being friends . Whatever hit us in the further . Then we are ready . All of us . we left school and we din’t speak . We then we to college I  was happy to see them again every lunch break we hanged  around . We got close . Until My ex cheated on me with my best friend . I am a man so I forgave them both but I will never forgive  get just yet .They But I’ll try . Over time . Now I am happy because I have  changed since my abuse . And everything that happened . I am me again . With my heath and my friends and family with me . And that what family’s are . My friends are my family . That  makes me stoger    dealing what happened . And moving  on . I miss the old days with my friends . I am now in love again . Since college . She don’snt  know I feel this way abut her . Elise goes to my thearth . I will tell her in my own time . I just want to get know her And my cast . I am Finley  home from everything that happened 25 years . Good and bad . I have grown in too a get I din’t know my own streeth  I dint crumble . I keep on fighting to to end . I got rid of all the pain . Looking at me now I am not the same person when I when abused . I more fun . Living live now . There is one girl for now . I do miss my friends and my pack that fixed me . I don’t know if I can carry on any more . My pack and I fixed each other . I really miss my pack . That looked after me by talking . And Listing . I know in supted  living  the staff lives . It’s hard for me and other people who have them . It’s more hard for me because  they are my friends and my pack . That fixed me . They will always be in my hart . And I am tutelary  grateful for what they done . They really have fixed me . But I do miss them every day . It’s not the same any more . I trust vevy little now . The one  thing I will always have is my selve believe That is what is what keeping me alive . And not going down . I have made promises . To my me and my pack . That I will find my self again and I have . With there help . And my other promise is keep on smiling make everyone happy . That I do . Those too . For now . I will do anything for my pack . There my little family . That helped me when I was ill . And they all fixed me . So did I want to say thank you . To all of them . My smile is the best gift . That is what they say . Because  my smile is like a sun been. I was at bottom of the table  now I high up . I and my pack fixed me I am turlty  grateful for all they done . My thanks is going  to be inviting   them to my panto . So excited  about it . I won’t be in the panto I will be back stage . I made friends for for life .during I am going down low again . I wish I wastn’t  victim of abuse . I want my revenge I can’t be tottle  happy with everything that went on . I say good bye to my pack one by one . They leave . As a friend to them since day one we met . We clicked. And then the pack is formed . Forever . They wont be support works any more . When the leave they be friends . It stared already. Our friendship . Now it’s time for me to let me them go like I let half  of the other friends go . They will always be in my hart . They fixed me I am turlry  grateful for all they done . Now I have to say good bye to them all . but my pack will stand when I need them or they need me . We be there for there other . It’s never the ending it’s the being . I will meet again with them . it’s time for me to walk away . I can’t be happy without my pack . They are part of my life for ever . I will never let them go not rally . I will always be there in there hart . Till they find me again . or I find them . When everyone  I love I fought for are leaving . For a better life ever time I say good bye . I have to rember they are doing it for them they will say good bye to us . I have found my self for 25 years . Of what I have been though . I am a fighter . That never gives up . I one day need to find a new pack a new family . That they want me there . And I and want them . I have let go of my pack . They one’s I have I will keep . Close to my hart like all of them . When I go leave I become the best person . That I can . In my whole life I am I always I good person . With a big hart . That’s me . My biggigt  wish to at Wembley Stemue one day . To perform To go travelling . I never thought I would carry on . But I did I have fought ever battle . Ever illness . I can Finley say I am me though that . Everything I been Though . I say thank you to everyone . Who helped me to get a better life . To be the man I want I want to be . Everything has changed . around me I am losing myself . Again This time there’s no coming back . I how many times I need chanling it won’t never change . Because    I have found what I am looking for . All my life . I now really want to be a performer . Of some kind . T.v Stage or both . That is were I belong I have found me again. Over 25 years .

Jonathan Williams .